Why'M I Closest To Heaven Whenever I'M Going Through Hell

I woke up to what's left of late last night And poured it down the drain All my demons sit laughing to themselves As I swear it off again My heart's still steady beating, as if I ran a race My lips miss the feeling, of the whiskeys warm embrace Why'm I closest to Heaven whenever I'm going through hell Why do I find myself singing All the songs of praise When I'm drunk with such emotion I know I should be ashamed I ask the Lord please let me Make it through this night Before I get to ask the question We both know I'll lose the fight So why'm I closest to Heaven whenever I'm going through hell I know the answer lies within me But how do I take the first step When I'm sober I tend to find that I Have no self respect So I try to drink the pain away A little at a time But it's a double edge slide Right back into the fire Why'm I closest to Heaven whenever I'm going through hell Why'm I entertaining demons The same ones that I did, all last week When will the day ever come That I'll get back up on my feet Maybe I've not hit rock bottom But it just so hard to tell I'd rather be a man than this hollowed out old shell Why'm I closest to Heaven whenever I'm going through hell Why'm I closest to Heaven whenever I'm going through hell Here I am at the kitchen sink again Pouring out last night's regrets....