Why Me

Why, oh why can't I get it right? I ask myself this question every day and every night. Some of us are different from the rest. Some of us have a fear of success. In our minds, we believe we try. But in reality, we're living a lie. Someone once told me, trying is lying. You do it or you don't. I really want to live life as i'm suppose to, but I fear that I won't. I've had many problems from the start. It seems to me when I get my **** together, my ******* falls apart. I could fake it as I've done before. But as soon as I get through with one problem, another opens the door. Please help me Lord and show me what to do. I need you in my life, Lord. I surrender to you.