Why I Cry

I was crying tonight I thought I had survived the pain I know I was lying to myself Holding back the tears Pretending that life had moved on That I had moved on As the the night drifted to dawn I found so much missing Then I pictured him The image was so clear My mind wandered back to the nights we shared I felt his hand upon my skin I saw the reflection of the moon in his eyes I felt the happiness that lived in each moment With him I felt whole My life complete Without him Emptiness engulfs me Sadness overwhelms me I am lonely Not for my lover Not for companionship Not for the man For my best friend I am lost I look around and realize This is not where I belong This is not where I should be This is where I stay I ask myself why I stay And though I can make a list of reasons They are all excuses Words that mask the fear The fear of failure Fear of more heartbreak I know how disappointed in me he would be And that is why I cry Copyright © 2009 Lena “Lolita” Townsend