Who’s happening to me?

Fack you for throwing all my love and tears in your **** bucket. You have played me since you met me. You like it when I’m confused and sad. You lie every time you say ‘I love you’ to me and every time you say anything nice to me. I am the one that’s real with no games or plans. I’ve spent. Most of my life confused, pain splitting my broken heart, asking the gods why I can’t comprehend what everyone else just knows , and if being true nd loyal was really so important then was am I the only one being that way and how in the actual fack did every other wit s get away with making me out to be something that I never even thought was something that existed in real life. I am nONE of the things you say , YOU are NONE of the things that you say. Your jealousy makes me feel sick , because I could never imagine or saying anything EVER against you, but you make out like it’s the only thing I do in life. All you ever say or make out about me to everybody is the worst thing that you can make up. You don’t love me. You want everyone the think the worst of me, even if it’s not true because you are stupid that you actually don’t believe that a person like me exists and true thought of me smiling at another human n fills you with rage. It’s pathetic and wrong. Grow up, I do love you, and you are trying your hardest to make me stop .