Who Knew Shredded Paper

Who knew shredded paper... alias confetti could be so much fun? The misses took play therapy (hive urgently got to tell thee) to whole nother level, she smartly, expertly, deftly... didst contrive at my expense - (to late), when paramedics did arrive abusive deadly torture, I did not survive, when she (Frau Abby) five feet tall minus one inch lobbed bajillion pounds (analogous to many a swarming beehive), no matter I took strategic dive buried yours truly alive moments before perishing, heard her banshee cackling, hooting, kickstarting... dancing spot on jive, nonetheless mere seconds before my demise did arrive manage to scrawl illegible plea broadcast across icloud expansive ethereal euphemistic hard drive though unsure if timely help will arrive to resuscitate and revive praying immediate por favor very limited options more or less absolute zero before death be not proud doth score, sad fate, I cannot ignore salvation amidst desperation doth tide dully shore bolster faith no more toward humanity - generally a bore, maybe comeuppance,... thus I deplore, premature demise grim reaper doth adore yet perchance bottled message throughout cyber sea reaches poor or fabled lands i.e. Zanzibar, Timbuktu, Bangalore..., no especial rhyme nor reason zee afore saith place names mentioned except they came to fore front of noggin of this schnorrer realizing United States marine corps may also beg tubby enlisted, viz search and rescue operations even intervention papal monsignor please communicate asap with pope, now I bid thee good bye bonjour beetle browed troubadour.