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Whisper

we keep away from the racket street noise, huffing and puffing to whisper intimately, a lilt of catchy its weight of dandelions seeded an ebb and flow of what others thinly imagine to whisper a new kind of lyric personalized gratifying soft words of casual enticement finding her eyes that dart like Dagwood tumbles whispers to remind her of our shared love of lines like Picasso angles or lines of pine trees in backlit light as hawk wings tower their bladed lines of life hushed words crafted to startle and surprise a certain feeling of time slowing what could go wrong in whispers like syrup on waffles? our way to trace lines of pleasure rich in concealment to fill our minds with music at low volume played within a world as it is pulling apart tilted at us

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Duke Beaufort

Date: 4/28/2024 2:20:00 PM

Brian, you bring a lot of joy to those of us who like soft. It goes with good and careful listening, and as you point out, it's a break from the barrage of loud we have to deal with a bit too often.

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/28/2024 2:31:00 PM

Thank you, Duke, though you give me a lot of credit. Whispers have their own innate softness which presents a pleasurable exploration. I hope that all is well with you. Sincere good wishes, Brian

Mat Ignacio

Date: 4/28/2024 12:10:00 PM

beautifully and artfully conveyed -

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/28/2024 12:19:00 PM

Thank you, Mat, for your thoughtful, supportive note. I liked the poem though it did not do well in the contest. Contest avoidance can be good break from self questioning. Be well. Brian

Constance La France

Date: 4/23/2024 4:53:00 AM

Brian, congratulations on your win in my contest with this wonderful poem, Constance

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/23/2024 9:37:00 AM

Thank you, Constance.

Yolanda Nicholsen

Date: 4/22/2024 6:08:00 AM

Lovely poem here

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/22/2024 6:10:00 PM

Thanks very much, Yolanda, for your kind note. Best wishes, Brian

Thomas Wells

Date: 4/20/2024 3:32:00 PM

I love how this poem creatively employs the subtlety of natural images like "dandelions seeded" and "Dagwood tumbles whispers" to convey the tenderness of quiet intimacy. It is very well done. You won first place in my contest! Best wishes, Thomas

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/20/2024 4:17:00 PM

Greetings Thomas, Thanks very much for your words of encouragement. Yes, the poem was far down the contest recognition list. To me, the similes + metaphor have merit but then I am biased. The avoidance of commonplace language along with poetical devices are not deemed assets by all evaluators. At any rate, I still write + post but with more reluctance now. Thank you again. Be well. Brian

Charles Messina

Date: 4/15/2024 3:29:00 AM

Fantastic writing, Brian. Congratulations on your winning placement! Hope all is well, my friend. Charlie

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/15/2024 5:13:00 AM

Thanks very much, Charles, for your congratulatory wishes. I am far down the recognition list but delighted you found this small entry. All the best, Brian

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 4/9/2024 4:52:00 PM

what a captivating read, Brian. Your poem is creative and a great contest contender. I especially liked soft words of casual enticement whispers to remind her of our shared love of lines Best wishes with the contest. Enjoy your evening, Sara

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/9/2024 10:36:00 PM

Thanks very much Sara. I appreciate your thoughts on a poem I've edited four times now. Maybe after yet another revision I will let it lie. You're most generous in your praise. Many thanks. Health + happiness to you and Bill, always. Brian

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 4/9/2024 12:22:00 PM

- " whispers like syrup on waffles" ... :))) - A lovely poem for the contest, Brian ... I wish you good luck :) - hugs

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/9/2024 2:04:00 PM

Greetings Anne-Lise, Thank you for your stop by and supportive comment. I hope that your pen flourishes in these fine days of spring. Best wishes, Brian