Where I Go To Die

Today hurts like the rest of days This morning I cried invisible tears Looked at my son and felt remorse How someone so innocent could be given someone like me He smiles sweetly and I reply back To sleep he goes Now everything is quiet Except the darkness in my head I'm so tired of the shadows talking to me Their whispered tongues scrape at my mind Leaving foul thoughts that stink of intention The clock is louder My cellphone keeps ringing and hmm............. When I searched for company I was alone Twenty four hours of drowning in my hell I have no jokes to laugh at No good reason to smile When I think of my child And what I can offer him I break so hard I'm scattered into a trillion pieces Everyone walks by and hears the crunch under their feet But no one stops and picks me up Even if they did the glue is all gone Mirrors I hate so much They show me nothing just me I scream so loud that my soul wanders in impatience So with these pills I thee wed Tired of the bullshit I hear in my head I collect my things and give them off To people who are found while I am lost I dry swallow all thirty one Instantly I feel the power and I succumb I lay back in my bed slow Tell my son I'm sorry and close my eyes low Immediantly I transform to a darkened dream The place where I belong no one can hear me scream The Bloodfairies come to greet me Their wings shuffle and shake like a tree No words they say at all They just escort me down the hall To a room that carries my name Where I shall sit in shackles of my shame I now never can leave here But I wouldn't want to that would be my fear Making me come back to this earth NO, no I left !this universe was my curse Reaper comes to take my hand Banish it of the flesh and skin Sitting with a clenched mouth My jaw is wired so I can't shout Peace covers me head to toe Now this life is over I'm in no need of a soul Take it and run away fast I give my soul to the Reaper at last Here in death I will wait I pray the Lord my life I'll take