When I Write You a Letter

When I write you a letter, you had better reply! All the time it eats up isn't easy to come by. Do you think that I've got nothing better to do Than to squander myself on a wastrel like you? Why can't you get off of your fat derriere? My urgency here leaves me no time to spare. Your many excuses and the way you delay Just fill me with ennui and a ton of dismay. Hey, how many more times must I grovel and beg You to find a good sitter and then shake a leg? Get yourself to the bank and secure a big loan Then transmit it to me so my mistress won't moan. She has much on her mind since I landed in jail, And I gotta get back, so I need to post bail. Then we'll flee to Havana on an overnight barge And I'll write you again once we start livin' large.