Whats It Like

"Everyone has problems", I think to myself as a screaming ambulance passes me... It was presumably rushing off to help an unforeseen accident or illness, thus disrupting someone's "normal" day... Sometimes I feel like a phantom looking in at the real world from far outside... Like a weightless observer, peering in on the hustling, speeding chaos below... What is it like to be "normal"? Everyone has their version of that word, but I mean it as the guy buying grass seed at Home Depot with his 12 year old son on Saturday afternoon "normal". Faced with the loss of everything, I stand incapable of change... What's it like to not fight with yourself on a daily basis? What's it like to not sabotage relationships, make horrible choices, or destroy everything you touch? I have been out here so long now it's hard to remember what the real world is really like anymore... I don't say these things to gain sympathy, nor am I trying to be over dramatic. I really want to know... I am so dysfunctional I am not sure what functional even means... So tell me... What's it like?