Whats In Your Whatchamacallit

What’s in Your Whatchamacallit Capital One asks “What’s in your wallet” I’m thinking what’s in your whatchamacallit Biosolids is the official label The aftermath of last night’s dinner table If this isn’t clear, I apologize I don’t want to get graphic in young reader’s eyes But let’s cut to the chase, get to the scoop There’s gold and there’s silver in everyone’s poop Researchers have found at least 50 metals In the biosolids when all of it settles Substantially enriched in rare platinum group So much silver and gold in treatment plants poop Waste products produced by a million of us Is about 13 million, let’s further discuss With the US population let me make this clear We are pooping out gold at 4 billion a year Poop has been gathered from big towns and small With commercially mineable concentrations in all It’s not really clear how it gets in our waste Hair products, cosmetics or food that we taste No matter the source all researchers conclude We send silver and gold down the defecate tube Another true story from your Uncle Mike. Not only am I not getting rich writing poetry, I appear to be flushing away millions down the toilet.