What If

When you tell me to speak to you, What if I told you my vocal chords collapsed? When you tell me to express myself, What if I told you that words don't help? When you tell me to stay strong, What if I told you I was already broken? When you tell me to hold on, What if I told you I had already fallen? When you tell me not to cry, What if I told you I've done it so many times before? When you tell me to show my emotions, What if I told you that they are hidden forever? When you tell me that I've done wrong, What if I told you this wasn't the first time? When you tell me I need to change my ways, What if I told you I didn't know how to do it? When you tell me to be happy, What if I told you my happiness was a fleeting thing? When you tell me to live life, What if I told you.... I wanted to die now?