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What Happened To Me

So cold, I don't know why, I see you standing there, by my side. My voice unheard, as I call your name, I can't explain why, I feel your pain. Why are you crying, I don't understand, whats happened?, what's made you so sad?. You come to me, give me a hug, I feel your warmth, you hold me close. Why?......, you sob into my ear, slowly twisting my short black hair. Your face pressed against mine, I feel your breath, warm stream of heat, running down my neck. You rise slowly, your hair brushes my face, that beautiful smell of you, I'll never mistake. You gaze upon me, with tears in your eyes, you bend down and kiss me, one more time. You break down crying, like I've never seen before, where are you going? I think, as you walk out the door. Then I see a face I don't know, but I know what I see, it's a lid to a coffin, What happened to me? M.Mahauariki © 2012

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




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Date: 2/26/2012 4:47:00 PM
Congratulations on your winning placement in Joe Flach's "Twisted Minds" contest Murray. Love, Carol
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Date: 2/25/2012 5:37:00 PM
Thanks for entering my contest Murray and congratulations on your HM. I love the concept of still feeling, seeing, being after you have passed without initially realizing it. I have written several post-death poems myself - I think you did a marvelous job with this one. What did happen to you? Funny thing - I wrote one of these once and someone asked me if it was true.
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Date: 2/25/2012 4:54:00 PM
Nicely done for the contest. I enjoyed the read and wouldn't it be weird if a spirit really felt this way looking at his body in a coffin? Congrats on the HM. I got one too.
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Date: 1/28/2012 11:55:00 PM
This writing reminded me of an episode of the old television show "Night Gallery". A man was standing in a funeral parlor unaware that the body in the coffin was his own. Good descriptiveness here. Just remove the apostrophe from "eyes" in the third line of your fourth verse. Everything else looks fine.
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Mahauariki Avatar
Murray Mahauariki
Date: 1/29/2012 3:15:00 AM
Ahhhh I had to look that word up in the dictionary(apostrophe)...LOL, didn't even see it... My grammar isn't to great... If it wasn't for spell check it would be really messy.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things