What Doesn'T Kill You

'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' That's what everyone keeps telling me; that every scar and every tear will be worth it in the end because I will be happier and stronger than everyone else because of what I survived... So if that's true; why do I feel so weak, so lost? Why does everything that doesn't kill me make me want to die? Why does it make me want to end it, get t over with? Because I don't see any other way to get rid of this misery. I don't see any other way to finally be at peace, With myself, with others, with life... I just don't. And it terrifies me to think about it; About how far it's actually come, About how much it dictates what I do and what I think. About how it haunts my every waking moment and even my dreams to the point where I don't know where to go and what to do to just be happy, or to just not think about it for just a little while. I think that the people who tell someone that it will make you stronger n the end have absolutely no idea what they're talking about, because as far as I can see, it just gets worse and worse until one day; it does kill you...