What Can I Do But Forget and Remember You

Recently I haven’t had my mind in the right set, had no relief from the anger and grief, a time to forget full of regret, swept me down like the Barrier Reef. It hurts not knowing where I belong, let bygones be bygones but bygones bite on, exerting and showing me I’m in the wrong, but why would I try to supply hate all along. You see I had a dream of white friends having a black baby, it was meant to be black that’s how they’re born, funny innocent confusion made the dream crazy, they’re expecting so I didn’t tell them in the morn. I told someone else, whom told them, making them mad, they didn’t understand this stupid dream I'd had, took it like I want their situation to turn bad, and messaged my mum, telling her, I'd made them sad. My mum not me, my friends they be, told her, tell me, stop behaving horribly, so I just went and deleted them all, they’d speak to me if they were my friends after all. My mum carried on messaging, I was accused of being a liar, note, a week had gone by and it was out of mind, they accused me of taking the piss and acting slyer, but, I hadn’t thought of them, I did none of the kind. And though I didn’t tell lies I did apologise, I’ll make allowances cus she's pregnant, but she went to my mum. I’m insulted and confused as to how I'm seen in their eyes, so for now, I try to forget, but think, is this the final outcome? Friends for years, close ones too, like a family was our little crew, I must be seen different by you, now weeks later, we still haven’t spoke, so what can I do. What can I do, but, forget and remember you.