What An Awful Day

Got up this morning Too busy yawning To see the pee pot Spilled the whole lot With a short kick Not a recommended trick Bathroom door was locked Stood in my pee soaked socks Flatulence turns to lumps Underwear full of bumps Toaster mysteriously jammed Smoke filled the open plan Amidst all the chaos My grip was lost The bottle smashed The milk splashed And the kettle was dry Almost causing another fire The car would not start Despite prayers from the heart Trying to push the automobile No movement from the wheels Battery was flat Tyres were flat And I'm late for work My boss will go beserk Got to work in empty factory Seeing no-one made me worry Observed my paper front page Date explained it's Saturday Walking home abusing myself Mutters heard by noone else Slipped on a muddy bank Falling to a sudden land Covered in dog poop My embarrassed head droop Workmen outside my home Remind me waters no more A burst pipe was the cause Nearly answering I paused Dropped my ashamed head And went back to bed I'll sleep the rest of the day So no more unlucky pain