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Westward Movement

Debbie Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi - LIFETIME Premium Member Debbie Guzzi - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Westward Movement which was written by poet Debbie Guzzi. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Westward Movement

The ground is damp
it bleeds through my thin cotton skirt.
Crest born, I sit and wait the dawn.
My fingers weave into the high rye grass.
The house below is quiet still.
The children sleep.
The dog’s with me. 
We sit high upon the hill.

Peaceful heart, Venus I spy
the morning star, the moon, and dawn,
God could see them in my eyes a tilt. 
Barefoot bliss, Champ for a pillow
down I lie and sigh.
The children sleep.
My man’s returned.
Now, we sit high upon the hill.

He lies with me. Grass stains my skirt.
He weaves dewed daisies in my hair.
Crest born we writhe beneath the sky
above our farm on prairie grass.
The house below is quiet still.
The children sleep.
The dog runs home.
We sit high upon the hill.

Contest: Into Night's Dwelling
Poet: Debbie Guzzi
Date: 1/8/14

Copyright © Debbie Guzzi

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  1. Date: 2/10/2014 12:25:00 PM
    day moon--/in my mind your/last night's words

  1. Date: 1/17/2014 11:02:00 PM
    Looks like a fine description of a rustic setting.

  1. Date: 1/13/2014 11:46:00 PM
    Wow,, first how you began this! Debbie, Debbie,, love your flow of thoughts in your poem here. Beautiful imagery from start to close.. I liked how you didn't do a Rubaiyat and wrote in Free Verse,, In strict meter sometimes.. it gets cramped in selection of rhyming words and syllables... and here you don't limit your expressions... To my Faves list... love! hugs!

  1. Date: 1/13/2014 2:31:00 PM
    This feels as if a scene from some wonderful movie I've seen......something beautiful, that has a wonderful soundtrack, but no words need spoken.....just the sound of the wind, and gorgeous panorama...... the night is taking our breath away as we watch. so lovely and serene

  1. Date: 1/13/2014 11:39:00 AM
    A poem of a truly amazing poet,, your diversity does you credit, Debbie,,But why am i surprised? i'm not really, but this poem is like a breath of fresh air to me,,,,,,,,

  1. Date: 1/13/2014 6:11:00 AM
    Very imaginative work for the contest..Reads like a winner to me..Thanks for the visit to my work..I am honored that you would have placed my poem higher even if it was just one place..Ha!! Ha!!..Sara

  1. Date: 1/13/2014 12:31:00 AM
    Loved it so much i can back to read it again nice write my friend take care and good night until tomorrow

  1. Date: 1/12/2014 4:23:00 PM
    lovely write, Debs. Thanks - enjoyed the contest (sorry I didn't get round letting you taste Santa's pizza) Congrats on your wins too

  1. Date: 1/12/2014 12:06:00 PM
    This is so interesting, Debs, and very different from the norm in this contest. I love the romantic images in it and the repetition of sitting high on the hill.

  1. Date: 1/12/2014 7:13:00 AM
    Debbie a wonderful image and I like the way you used rhyme even though it is free verse...I like it a lot...David

  1. Date: 1/11/2014 10:09:00 AM
    Very stimulating to my visual way of processing. I also like the repetition of phrases. These make a seem more real and freeze the moment like a beautiful painting.

  1. Date: 1/10/2014 3:42:00 PM
    Beautifully romantic write and your vision of nature is spot on great job on this one. Very creative work and i enjoyed reading it alot, yes i wrote mystic rose maji for my gyspy rose lol and she really liked it. i'm go glad of that thank you for your wonderful comment on it. cheri

  1. Date: 1/10/2014 8:55:00 AM
    Sent you an E MAIL... not soupie

  1. Date: 1/10/2014 8:52:00 AM
    Very aura of the emotions..I like this poem

  1. Date: 1/10/2014 7:55:00 AM
    I was going to soupie you and decided I'd rather stop by this poem again. Faved it. It is sooooo different. There is something about the simplicity that is catching and holding me. No fear of repetition (He He THe THe The... perhaps it speakes of how our mind circles memories ... it feels so real, unfettered!!) I want to change the last we to I... ;) .... Hey, I wrote that poem. I hope you like it (fingers crossed) Hugs, Dee... hey if you have a short funny story/observation can you post a blog

    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan
    Date: 1/10/2014 8:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Me<---obsessive/compulsive. Can you email me about this poem. 1) How did you come up with this 2) Have you seen this... technique? style? voice?..... anywhere else 3) do you know if 'this' has a name for it? I mean the over-all tone of this verse. Bet, its like the first time I read a modern sonnet. I'm smitten!!!
    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan
    Date: 1/10/2014 7:58:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Nope, read it again for the forth time (:D) definitely we works better, you're right, the repetition ... I was making it more.. ahem.. suggestive. I feel like I want to study this piece. The last poem that affected me this way was one by Carrie. A shape poem about totems.
  1. Date: 1/9/2014 11:21:00 AM
    Ow ..I so love it when you let your romantic side flow in such beautiful verses.One for my favs ma

  1. Date: 1/9/2014 11:18:00 AM
    Oh, Debbie dear.....You are romantic!!! :) I liked the writhing bit....Yes, I would! Beautiful write...As Cyndi...I'm taken by your use of periods....Your writes are so....unconventional...or maybe I'm SO behind the times...probably the latter. Thanks for always challenging my mind. This gave me a feeling of peace, tranquility and mature love....HUGS

  1. Date: 1/9/2014 8:44:00 AM
    I like how you used the refrains ..great wishes in the contest

  1. Date: 1/9/2014 4:17:00 AM
    wonderful poem Debbie.I have been to a retreat for some time and couldn't log into PS.Happy new year Debbie. Is there any problem Debbie? PD's poem is full of anger.Kindly console her. (: ) Jenish.

  1. Date: 1/9/2014 12:35:00 AM
    Beautiful Sara, very nicely written poem. hope it is a win for you....peter

    Duggan Avatar Peter Duggan
    Date: 1/9/2014 12:36:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Sorry Debbie I called you sara by mistake