Well That Was Stupid

I Look back every day and think well that was stupid. My friends ask me what's wrong but I'd rather not say. Some say no It's not your young and that's how it goes. Hanging on by thread thinking back running through the memories in my head. I'm So Sick of hollering in my own self pity. Knowing that life's full of bad choices. It's up to me to make the best of them. But I guess the hardest part of life is forgiving yourself. Letting go of the past is hard but living with it is much harder. Day to Day I just can't seem to change. Those that love me see my pain. Not accepting the one above just cause's more. Not because I'm afraid to but because I don't know how. Again and again I have tried but keeping to to myself and him are harder than I thought. Yes we all have faults but mine is Failure to keep my word to those I don't see. Yes that's you out of sight out of mind ya that's who I am. Maybe it's me I can't hold true to. I pray for the that changes me but whats the point if you don't mean it in your heart. How can I give everything away when I have nothing to give worth the time. Knowing what I'm meant for and what I want to be meant for are so far apart how can I decide.