Was My Love Not Enough

Alas; my maternal love couldn’t save you my beloved son, hence; in excruciating pain, I shed an ocean of tears asking why. Was my love not enough or was it too much? Too much that you, couldn’t live without it or not enough, that you needed much more to thrive? From my breast you suckled the pure and warm milk of nurturing, then proudly I weaned you, to spoon feed you the solid foods of this life. Gently but with reluctance, I nudged you from our protective nest, although you tried with all your might, maybe you weren’t ready to fly. Alas; my maternal care couldn’t heal your inner wounds my son, hence; in extreme anguish, I search for the answer to the question why. Was my care not enough or was it too much? Too much that you, couldn’t live without it or not enough, that you needed much more to thrive? I gave you my compass to direct your steps, on the roads that you would tread and my lamp filled with oil to light up your way, on life’s lonely and dark rough paths. Salves, balms and essential oils of my love, to your wounds I would often spread, but sadly I suppose, it was all for naught, your inner wounds were much to vast. Alas; my deep maternal love couldn’t save you my beloved son, hence; until the day we embrace again, I shall be haunted by the question why. Was my love not enough or was it too much? Too much that you, couldn’t live without it or not enough, that you needed much more to thrive? By: Joan Marie Peranteau Copy written March 2014 Written for and dedicated to my first born, my beloved son, Nathaniel Blaine Gibson Who fell asleep, a deep sleep on February 19 2014, and will continue to sleep until the resurrection. So until we embrace again, he is in Jehovah God’s memory and care. However; while we wait for that time to embrace him again, our hearts are heavy with sorrow and with missing him, there are no words to express how much.