War of the Sexes
Listen up, you tin soldiers,
it’s time to grow some heavy metal skin
In this battle of the sexes,
the enemy is winning the war ...
And that burns my masculine soul to no end
Team testosterone is in retreat,
therefore, I implore my band of brothers
The prospect of imminent defeat
should make us fight that much harder
As one brave soldier of the enemy truthfully declared:
Love is a battlefield!
So I ask you right now, you miserable grunts,
are you prepared to yield?
Oh, what I wouldn’t give for one hundred of her kind —
Bravehearts, willing to battle any man
in combat, up close, hand to hand
Now I know some of you boys
ain’t seen war upfront and personal
Them little girls you’ve been dealing with,
ain’t nothing but lightweight ...
just a tease and a flirt
Easily defeated on the first date
A real woman would chew you up and spit you out,
pin your weak mind to the floor ... kick your butt out the house
That kinda woman wouldn’t take your crap,
no, you best believe not for one moment, son
She’d get right in your face,
and smack you up side your head with her love gun
What y’all raw, green thumb bucks need to understand,
this is a real war you’re in
And them tough-minded women they aim to win
So, listen up to Sgt. Apone here,
tighten up your boots, strap on your jocks
and test check your combat gear
The next sounds on the battlefield I better not hear:
“I’ll take care of that right away ...”
“whatever you say ...”
“yes, dear!”
Copyright © Freddie Robinson Jr. | Year Posted 2017
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