Wake Up, Chicago

Wake up, Chicago, before it's too late Murders are rising at an alarming rate Multiple car-jackings every day We're a criminal's paradise -- hey, hey! As for classroom education, give me a break The teachers just told the students, 'Go jump in the lake' They're 'ready to report' when every last teacher and kid gets the vaccine If I weren't so polite, I'd call that demand 'freaking obscene' Population's racing for the exits, more folks every day Why stay in a city where crime always pays The downtown's a ghost-town, which means less revenue Increasing the tax burden on 'lifers' like me and you Well, now that I've introduced you to my hometown I'll tell you the problem that's really the big one All the restaurants, bars and clubs are tightly locked down ~ You'll have to hit the tattoo parlors* to have any fun ___________________________________________________________ *In its infinite wisdom the government has kept tattoo parlors open (!) throughout the pandemic, as 'essential services' (!), while imposing draconian restrictions and lockdowns on restaurants, clubs, gyms, small businesses, and other assorted victims of 'the Chicago Way.'