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Velvety Sky

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Below is the poem entitled Velvety Sky which was written by poet Allie Lusha. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Velvety Sky

I noticed you standing and chatting there
your hazel eyes and brown tousled hair
your frame was tall and so strong
your age, well, yes you were young
You looked my way,we shared a smile
just stood and stared for quite a while
till somone came and touched my arm
I couldn't forget your boyish charm
The evening passed, you were still in view
sharing stolen glances, we had a few
my heart was racing, my mind in torment
I knew what I wanted, there was every intent
Then I lost sight of the man I was crazy for
I guessed you'd gone so I headed for the door
Fresh air and a clear head was waiting for me
Silly women to ever think of what could be.
I stepped onto the terrace, such a beautiful night
A velvety sky, full of stars sparkling so bright
then someone touched my arm, gently turned my face
It was you, my heart melted as I fell into your embrace. 
I remember that night as if it were yesterday
passion and lust had their part to play
now as we lay entwined in our bed, I watch you sleeping
All these years, love and passion our safekeeping

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  1. Date: 3/9/2010 2:53:00 AM
    Loved this Alie full of warmth and feeling , memories live deep dont they Thanks Daniel

  1. Date: 3/5/2010 11:16:00 AM
    I think some of your work should be rated 'for consenting adults only' or something like that. I'm gonna start looking for terraces right away! irish

  1. Date: 3/4/2010 12:21:00 PM
    Lovely, romantic, touching, emotional and heart warming Allie.. enjoyed this beautiful write from your gifted pen.. appreciate your comments on Soup-Sensational and glad it has helped u out on site.. thankxxx..luv.. Linda-Marie

  1. Date: 2/27/2010 3:47:00 PM
    Very touching poem, quite beautiful. REgards: Déirdre Ó Maidín

  1. Date: 2/26/2010 12:49:00 AM
    Very romantic poetry Allie.Rgds Brian & thanks for your welcome comments & observations today.

  1. Date: 2/23/2010 3:41:00 PM
    Beautiful poem Allie, very dreamy with an awesome title >> James

  1. Date: 2/23/2010 1:59:00 PM
    This is a very cute and romantic story you have told. I enjoyed the rhyme scheme. I do have one suggestion. I would consider changing the last line in the fourth stanza to "silly women to ever think of what could be". I think it works better for your rhyme scheme. -Mike

  1. Date: 2/23/2010 6:58:00 AM
    If it's a true story it would be amazing. The meeting of a woman's dreams!! Great imagery. LUv, Andrea

  1. Date: 2/23/2010 3:14:00 AM
    Very passionate and romantic write. Keep the creative pen flowing. Sara