Valentine Shopper

I want to shop on Valentine's but haven't got a date. I'd buy myself some roses if it wasn't for I'm straight. Some chocolate hearts would fill my gut and card say "I Love You". But signing it would be in vain and thanks would never do. Coupons for a hug and kiss would make my rainy day. But everytime I cashed one in I'd feel a littly gay. Letters written to my love would only creep me out. And knowing they were meant for me would surely leave no doubt. Songs of love would fill my heart if it was meant to be. But knowing I'm a single guy would make me want to flee. Home cooked meals would seal the deal and I could eat for two. Until I'm fat and throw me back. And still have plenty to chew.