Used To Be

GRACEFULLY... If I could go back and do it all again, I would have NEVER let you say goodbye my friend. Want to go back to the way things used to be To the place where u got butterflies with the thought of ME Back to the safety of you and I still UNSURE what I did To make u say GOODBYE Said you were "fed up" fed up with WHAT exactly? I thought you felt it too what was between You & Me I never meant to invade your space Being with YOU was my HAPPY place I was NEVER "checking up" on YOU I'm NOT that kind of WOMEN I NEVER interrogated YOU or asked "what you been doing?" Your on my mind wish I KNEW the right words to say hurts so much that you so easily pushed me AWAY YOU said was "NO LONGER FUN" that hurt SOO bad NOT definatley ready for THAT one Told me you were "fed up" want to call it quits NOW I am WEAK & vulnerable I'm Ashamed to admit Just want to express where I am coming from Your words completely CRUSHED me when u said that your "DONE" I was NOT done not even close FOR ME ur like a DRUG I NEEDED another dose I KNOW what we had I was there too I know you were scared don't open up easily You PROMISED you wouldn't hurt ME Things were going well we were growing CLOSE it's our FRIENDSHIP that I miss the MOST We had connection that's VERY hard to find Was built on friendship and its uniquely YOURS & MINE WISH we could go back to the place where we were newfound friends My heart swelling with EVERY message that you'd send I KNEW months ago that Cupids arrow was calling Easier to ignore and kid myself that I wasnt FALLING A "breakup" inevitable YOU told me SO Don't understand why it's SO HARD to let you GO I KNOW IN my head I have to MOVE on and face REALITY No as easy as it sounds because you mean so much to ME To me this separation is very REAL and it surely HURTS still care for you deeply Which makes it all WORSE I was UNAWARE that we had a problem thought everything was ALRIGHT YOU were my FIRST thought in the morning And the LAST one at night You did and STILL do mean so much to me CANT ignore our attraction and MUTUAL chemistry Hurts SO much U don't want to talk to me Tell myself let go and face REALITY Don't get to attached I reminded myself and believe me I TRIED I am Surprised at my own reaction and all the tears that I've cried I ADORE you just want you to KNOW was so unprepared for you to let me GO We got along so well from the start easy to see My heart aches nothing I can do I'm pretty sure you know by now that I fell in LOVE with YOU Please KNOW that I am NOT ANGRY not even a little upset it took TWO of us to get here and I have NO REGRET I enjoyed each and every minute that we SHARED You made me HAPPY And I KNOW that you CARED WE had desire passion and LUST SO many nights I lay awake dreaming of your tender touch I NEVER wish you I'll will only happiness and health in all you do KNOW there's always a special place in my heart ALWAYS just for YOU Know that I ADORE you Wish you SUCESS in everything U put ur mind to It was truly a pleasure getting to know YOU You are smart witty and special just to name a few My world NOW a little Darker cuz it doesn't have YOU It's OK you don't need to say it I KNOW how YOU feel about ME BUT now I must take what's left of my dignity And try and walk away from YOU ...gracefully