Untold Feelings

It seems like there is no good way to tell you how I feel. I am too young for you to ever look my way, but still I hope. I used to tell you everything I was feeling in letters. But now the letters have stopped, because I can’t tell you how I truly feel. Those three simple little words go through my head every time I see you. My closest friends know. Every time they see me looking at you, They shake their heads and try to hide their disgust. But they can’t hide it well enough. It twists my stomach with emotions. My brain tells me that I shouldn’t feel this way and that I need to stop. But my heart insists, so I throw my conscious out the door. Or at least I try too. Your smile makes me feel warm inside. When you get really close to me, I feel like I can’t be myself. I’m afraid that you will think I’m stupid. I always wonder what you will think of me. Wondering what it would be like if…. But I don’t think it could happen. It can’t happen. It won’t happen. So I guess I’m stuck with my feelings, all to myself, With no one to share them with. If I could say anything to you and then have it be erased from your memory. I would say…. I love you. Because I do.