Untitled Life

My fear turns into doubt, choking me endlessly! It is a struggle to breathe something that builds up inside of me. Leave me alone! No! Come back please stay! Are they lies? Are they true? I need to know what is real or not! Are you playing me like a game on Saturday night? It seems easy for you to hurt me like I am a dart board in front of your face! You throw something sharp at me and WAM! It pierces right into my heart bulls’ eye, congratulations! 100 points for that. Go ahead try again going for my soul this time! Just crush who I am. Its okay I won't cry. Not for you, not this time! Jab me, poke me, and call me names! I don't care I'm not to blame! You hate yourself I can see that now, it's not me I wouldn't cut you as deep as you cut me! I ache and strain myself bending my mind around it every day. I wake up; I am afraid to rollover and see your face! In my dreams at night is where I am most happy. I am not afraid with my eyes closed. There in my dreams I am whatever, where ever, and with whoever I want! If I could sleep the days away into the night I would be happy! In my mind where some of my deepest and most private thoughts lurk, waiting for the right Time to jump out and shout surprise! A place where when I wake up and rub the sleep out of my eyes, I won't be afraid and I Won’t hide. A place where fear doesn't exist and the pain subsides, where fear lets go and I can Breath again, where you cannot hurt me because I won't let you in. My own sanctuary where I am happy and safe from harm. This is my untitled life.