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Untitled(Regret Pt. 2)

It was only suppose to had been just an innocent friendship at least in the beginning that how it started out to be, I was confident in believing that I could actualy be friends with him but at that moment I was much too blind to had even seen. That in all actuality he wanted more from me way more that I was not able to give at that time, I never had imagined in my wildest dreams that just my very presence still remained on his cunning, devious mind. He would always greet me with a sincere smile on a daily basis whenever he would see me around in the neighborhood, He accepted me for me with open arms and good graces at that time he made me feel happy and good. Suddenly, what started out as a friendship that was built on innocence made a turn unto the path of regrettable sin, That is when he made the bold step of taking advantage of my innocence by wanting to be more than just friends. At that tiem my life was filled with so much chaos and stress and all seemed so dark and drear, I felt that out of my life was gone all of my happiness for myself I no longer gave a care. He told me things that I had wanted to hear for, it had been such a long time ago, He had made all of my pain and despair disappear he made me feel wanted and needed so. But like a fool I had allowed him to take control of me I was definitly in way over my head, That night I found it so hard to believe that I was actually in his bed. After the sinful act had been over and completed and I silently walked out of the door, I asked myself: "Oh, God ! What on earth have I done? I feel like such a whore!" I cried and cried what seemed like an eternity and I became violently physically sick, What would my finace think of me? was all I could ask myself at that moment. That night when I had finally returned home I got down on upon my knees and just prayed to God for forgiveness, That night I never felt so sad, confused, and all alone cheating was not in my nature, only innocence. I could not believe that I had hurt the man that I loved by betraying him in that way, I was so naieve in sharing one night of lust with a man that just wanted to get laid. I allowed myself to be put in a situation a situation that had gone out of control, I was just too weak to resist temptation but right now, I am strong enough to know.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2006




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Book: Reflection on the Important Things