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Below is the poem entitled UNBECOMING which was written by poet nette onclaud. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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long scarf of a night clasping the bracelet of a moon, what emptiness is this when i have you not near? the distance of a thousand galaxies collecting stars unbinds me, when once i could tumble upon your nape so bronze as if there to fly swept by every lingering breath borrowing some endless moaning of time; a stewing chorus of sacred yet wild mouths coming together then parting... farewell, a few more steps closer and i shall disown my soul and bones under the cloud's dark awning to silently memorize your fading eyes entombed in near burial of an unbecoming night.
Loneliness Contest of Frank by nette onclaud new poem

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  1. Date: 3/5/2014 7:20:00 AM
    I know that feeling of loneliness only too well. Expertly done nette.

  1. Date: 1/30/2014 6:05:00 PM
    Hey....stopped in to say hello and enjoy this marvelous poem....exceptional...looks like it won a contest...I'm so behind....but may live after all....finally..:-) :-)

  1. Date: 1/26/2014 9:07:00 AM
    Fantastic expression of feeling from the core of the heart. Congrats on your win, my lovely friend. Loved always, bl

  1. Date: 1/24/2014 7:08:00 PM
    You certainly captured the mood. Another exceptional piece.

  1. Date: 1/24/2014 9:39:00 AM
    I love to see you at the top Nette, Congrats on a wonderful win....Hugs...Roger

  1. Date: 1/24/2014 12:18:00 AM
    "Long scarf of a night"!! Brilliant!! ... and the ending line, well ... just perfect. Best of luck in the contest; it's a winner!

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 10:58:00 PM
    Sometimes, being alone can feel like you have just been isolated by death and darkness. Though this is a very sad poem about loneliness, it is expressed just beautifully. An amazing write, Nette!...Thank you so much for the kind and heartfelt comments. :)

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 10:35:00 PM
    Highly touchy !! Very well expressed Netty !!

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 8:16:00 PM
    I am speechless once again.......this is breathtaking!!

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 7:59:00 PM
    Enjoyed the write on loneliness and congrats on the fine win, nette

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 3:25:00 PM
    awesome write, Nette

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 2:58:00 PM
    You've entombed this lonely state, with great beauty Nette, a million years from now, still you're poetry will be remembered, I for one will not forget how your poetry makes me feel, "It is like having the special privilege of peering through your mind and soul, it doesn't get better than this, love you soul sister xxx

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 1:35:00 PM
    Geez this is such a tearful poem written beautifully. The yearning scrapes the heart.I'm thankful for yourcontest results.All the best, Nette!

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 1:06:00 PM
    Hi Nette, Awesome romantic write..

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 11:33:00 AM
    Although the topic is sad, you get it to become so beautiful with your words sparkle like the most beautiful diamonds - I could never get a sad theme to be so beautiful - Proficient my friend, Nette. Good luck? ... no it is not necessary .... It will be HOT!! - oxox // Anne-Lise :)

    Gonza Avatar Franco Gonza
    Date: 1/23/2014 12:41:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    kissy is sooo cute, anne... i have a dachsund, what kind of pup is she?.. huggs
    Andresen Avatar Anne Lise Andresen
    Date: 1/23/2014 11:34:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    - My new puppy 8 weeks old - She's really cute - Named "Kissy" - :)
  1. Date: 1/23/2014 10:50:00 AM
    Beautiful Nette---Long scarf if night---That's perfect. As soon as I read it, I thought---yeah, that's what night is! I saw it in my mind's eye. Good job Nette,

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 8:42:00 AM
    Reads like a winner to me..Great work filled with emotion..Thanks for the visits to page..Thanks for the honor of placing in your contest..I enjoyed writing that one..It totally captivated my attention for awhile..Sara

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 7:41:00 AM if your absolute best....This really resonated in my soul....Hugs

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 7:35:00 AM
    I'm being pulled out the door, breakfast, library, groceries.. read very quicly your soupe... will write back latere... love you !!!

  1. Date: 1/23/2014 6:56:00 AM
    I love the lines "swept by every lingering breath borrowing some endless moaning of time" . This a very moving piece. Thanks for sharing. Tim