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Unbecoming

long scarf of a night clasping the bracelet of a moon, what emptiness is this when i have you not near? the distance of a thousand galaxies collecting stars unbinds me, when once i could tumble upon your nape so bronze as if there to fly swept by every lingering breath borrowing some endless moaning of time: a stewing chorus of sacred yet raw vignettes coming together then parting... farewell, a few more steps closer and i shall disown my soul and bones under the cloud's dark awning to silently memorize your fading eyes entombed in the burial of an unbecoming night.
.............
Contest Form-E of Broken Wings Originally written: 1/23/2014 Reposted: 1/24/2017

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




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Date: 1/24/2017 5:59:00 PM
WoW! Nette, What a well written write. One sense a profound loneliness within this write. Congratulations on your fine win . It was well deserved: -) Alexis
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Date: 1/24/2017 4:30:00 PM
This looks like a top winner. It must have been hard to judge this contest. Congrats on a fine, unique elegy.
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Date: 3/5/2014 7:20:00 AM
I know that feeling of loneliness only too well. Expertly done nette.
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Date: 1/30/2014 6:05:00 PM
Hey....stopped in to say hello and enjoy this marvelous poem....exceptional...looks like it won a contest...I'm so behind....but may live after all....finally..:-) :-)
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Date: 1/26/2014 9:07:00 AM
Fantastic expression of feeling from the core of the heart. Congrats on your win, my lovely friend. Loved always, bl
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Date: 1/24/2014 7:08:00 PM
You certainly captured the mood. Another exceptional piece.
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Date: 1/24/2014 9:39:00 AM
I love to see you at the top Nette, Congrats on a wonderful win....Hugs...Roger
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Date: 1/23/2014 10:58:00 PM
Sometimes, being alone can feel like you have just been isolated by death and darkness. Though this is a very sad poem about loneliness, it is expressed just beautifully. An amazing write, Nette!...Thank you so much for the kind and heartfelt comments. :)
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Date: 1/23/2014 10:35:00 PM
Highly touchy !! Very well expressed Netty !!
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Date: 1/23/2014 8:16:00 PM
I am speechless once again.......this is breathtaking!!
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Date: 1/23/2014 7:59:00 PM
Enjoyed the write on loneliness and congrats on the fine win, nette
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Date: 1/23/2014 3:25:00 PM
awesome write, Nette
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Date: 1/23/2014 1:35:00 PM
Geez this is such a tearful poem written beautifully. The yearning scrapes the heart.I'm thankful for yourcontest results.All the best, Nette!
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Date: 1/23/2014 1:06:00 PM
Hi Nette, Awesome romantic write..
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Date: 1/23/2014 11:33:00 AM
Although the topic is sad, you get it to become so beautiful with your words sparkle like the most beautiful diamonds - I could never get a sad theme to be so beautiful - Proficient my friend, Nette. Good luck? ... no it is not necessary .... It will be HOT!! - oxox // Anne-Lise :)
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Gonza Avatar
Franco Gonza
Date: 1/23/2014 12:41:00 PM
kissy is sooo cute, anne... i have a dachsund, what kind of pup is she?.. huggs
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Anne-Lise Andresen
Date: 1/23/2014 11:34:00 AM
- My new puppy 8 weeks old - She's really cute - Named "Kissy" - :)
Date: 1/23/2014 8:42:00 AM
Reads like a winner to me..Great work filled with emotion..Thanks for the visits to page..Thanks for the honor of placing in your contest..I enjoyed writing that one..It totally captivated my attention for awhile..Sara
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Date: 1/23/2014 7:41:00 AM
Nette....one if your absolute best....This really resonated in my soul....Hugs
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Date: 1/23/2014 7:35:00 AM
I'm being pulled out the door, breakfast, library, groceries.. read very quicly your soupe... will write back latere... love you !!!
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Date: 1/23/2014 6:56:00 AM
I love the lines "swept by every lingering breath borrowing some endless moaning of time" . This a very moving piece. Thanks for sharing. Tim
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Date: 1/23/2014 6:52:00 AM
This is a perfect display of what loneliness is truly like my friend! I am so very impressed by your extreme talent Nette, you are still the one on the site that excites my senses with delight and intrigue! I really enjoyed reading this enlightening poem this morning! What a fabulous piece, Great Work!!
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Date: 1/23/2014 5:52:00 AM
Unbelievably wrenching in a haunting way. This grips me, chokes me; I don't know what else to say.How terrrific can you get!
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things