Unattainable

Beloved, with preposterous persistence, I still search for your likeness. Gravitating toward every handsome bald man, I scan the light that reflects off their head, like the globe of home. I strive for the sight of bushy, frost seasoned eyebrows and hazel eyes defined with laugh lines, and I shape-shift them to resemble yours. I hunt for hearty hands, calloused and unabashedly bleeding from the weed wacker's counterattacks. I hearken to a Manhattan accent, while recalling the name of your favorite fruit, "our-ange." My ears perk at the pep of baseball announcers, the background soundtrack of your steady presence. The scent of rum comforts me like your broad-chested hug. Beloved, another's stubbly cheeks lead me back to grief. Unattainable in this stand-in space, is your love, beloved. That amiable smile that delighted an entire room no longer blooms with its fragrant welcome. Nocturnal is my fervent search, without night vision. Knuckles outstretch, but palms clutch nothing. Beloved, your love is within roaming shadows, splattered upon the pavement of nightfall. Glances of expansive remembrance thin, vanishing into fumbling fabrications and uncertainties. Yet certainly you are loved forever, currently unattainable to behold. 4-11-2021 David means "beloved." Dedicated to my dad