Unanswered Questions

Unanswered Questions I sat there by the bedside Looking into the hollow eyes. As you saw me you looked surprised. A body standing at the door of death. A body trying to avoid taking the last breath. You are holding on not wanting to die. I’m holding back not wanting to cry. Your chest is rising slowly with the help of a machine. The lifeless body would not redeem her love for this child. So I sat by the bedside awhile. Crying inside not for her death but because so may things will be left, unanswered, left undone You see I’m the one. The black sheep of the seven; why was there no love for me? I did so many things so you could walk proudly My long marriage, my bright and beautiful children, my education. None of it put me in your admiration. Black sheep am I, Because I wanted more from life’s pie. The machines broke the silence in my mind Tears were readily rolling. Now I’m crying. What will I miss about you? The look in your eyes because for me your love was not true. Will I miss your comments? That weren’t always kind Or your declines when I asked you to dine. I wasn’t one of the favorites. Nowhere near the greatest Of your seven. I wonder what will you tell God about that when you get to heaven? Your life slipped away in the middle of a spring day. I am left to make my way with no answers because there was nothing you would ever say, Not even in your best day.