T'Was the Night Before the Witness

T'was the night before the witness, Was sheduled to testify, I was very frightened, It's possible I could die.... I was accused of shooting poor defenseless Santa, And going on a long rant'a lasting through Christmas Eve, The jury for some reason, thought I had something up my sleeve... Now, if this wasn't a clear case, Of breaking and entry, Then find me guilty, Cause it sure is beyond me I mean, come on, soot came shooting out the fireplace, Then a red boot dangled, Practically in my face.... Then this sinister chant, Ho, ho, ho, Tell me, how would he know, If I am a ho?!? Then he dropped his huge bag of loot, Just before he hit the floor, Well, I'd seen enough, I needn't see no more, Out came my .22 And let me tell you, When he spied this, his cheery looking face, Was quickly to be replaced By a crimson red visage, More in tune with his decoupage, Now I had a problem, 300 pounds of roly poly jollies, Lay beneath my hollies His bulk had smothered my mantel fire, That was not to my desire I was about to dissect him, And feed him to his raindeer, When suddenly a siren, I began to hear.... The cops were soon all over me, Like wet toilet paper on a Halloween tree, There was no means of escape, At least none that I could see, Well therefore, in jail I sat, Booked for something that, Made me the villian, to all the children, When all I was trying to do, was "chillin"! Now I stand before the Judge, I see my problems multiply, Because the Judge was an ex-elf, And he'd make sure that I do fry.