Turkey's on the table, both legs up
Everything was fine, 'til I made the first cut!
The turkey unleashed a "CACKLE!", then jumped onto the floor
All you could see was basted skin, bolting out the door!
"Catch that turkey!!", I screamed,..."That's our evening meal!!"
The neighborhood looked on in awe, while asking,..."What's the deal?!"
The turkey rounded the corner, boy, that sucker was quick
Dashing like a sprinter, pumpin' those massive drumsticks!
It darted down an alley, disturbed a hobo's nap
And there, seated in a corner, he jumped upon his lap!
"Thank you Lord!", the hobo cried..."Today I won't have to beg!"
"Maybe I'll start with a wing, or perhaps I'll have a leg!"
"Put the turkey down!!", I roared,..."That bird belongs to me!!"
All I could see was a tailwind, as the hobo decided to flee!
I chased him down the alley, perhaps a quarter mile
Acting a fool in public, was never quite my style!
We dashed across the freeway, dodging every car
All I want is my turkey, can't stop, I've come too far!
The chase led to a corner, right past a city cop
He stood there like a scarecrow, talk about a useless flop!
Suddenly, it ended, the bum tripped over his laces
He broke his leg quite viciously, in fact, several places!
I woke up the next morning, thank God it was just a dream
With a hangover and an achin' skull, "OUCH!!" is what I screamed!
I looked over at the table, what do you think I'd see?
That same ol' basted turkey, lying there peacefully!
I stumbled to the table, laid that bird in a box
Packed two sides with a bisquit, then staggered on down the block!
I came upon that alley, peeked behind a garbage can
And there, sleeping like a baby, was a ragged ol' homeless man!
I placed the box beside him, never did I say a word
I penned a note which kindly read,..."Hope you like the bird."