Tuesday 28th January

My knee was really itchy one day And as I bent over to give it a scratch, I caught sight of a hole in the floor. It was a big hole. Kneeling on all fours, I stared down into the ground. There wasn’t a sound And I couldn’t see much, so I asked you to pass me the candle on the table. You gave me the rope too and promised to hold it tight as I lowered myself down to have a look. When I got down there, it turned out there was no secret wonderland like in the movies. It was just a hole that led to the basement. Later that night just before we sat down for dinner, I felt that itch come back And this time as I bent over to give it a scratch, There was a loud THUD in the attic above. ‘Quickly’ you said, ‘I’ll grab the candle and hold the ladder up for you.’ When I got up there, I realised that our cat Dixy had knocked over the old curtain rails we took down from the guest room. Alone, I finally gave my knee a quick scratch. I remember taking a second to think about why I had to be the one to check it out both times, Why didn’t we go together? Why weren’t you ahead of me? Why weren’t you beside me? ‘You might want to hurry up, I think the oven is going off!’ You screamed. So I hurried down. As we lay in bed, I felt you shiver as a cold gust rang through the bedroom. I waited to feel your arms curl around me, But you just pulled the covers closer around your body. When I told you that I was warmer than the duvet could ever be, you didn’t respond. When I told you that my knee was still itchy and that maybe something had bitten me, you didn’t respond. When I told you all the questions I’d asked myself while up in the attic earlier, you still didn’t respond. I know you were awake. We both were. Neither of us slept that night.