Troubled After 0130

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I see beyond forever: A chasm of darkness which is infinite With it dark hopes of this Dangerous life I always live. I do get carried away As I capture the freshness Of my own breath, so fresh, Forever so appealing: A freshness of thought In an inward looking globe, That's my world I understand alone I always wish I was in it Living it, just living it. I wish I could live after I die In your eyes and mind, You that has never known me Known how disturbed I am Sometimes over things I do. I figure out nothingness About life today Till only tomorrow comes: That is me. There are some who come a simple way Of loving the things I do I do for myself, so much, It seems I do for them, I do for myself. I have never been selfless And the greatest joy I have Is when I am alone Or with the person I don't even Try to love, I feel ashamed to be with: Can't help the nature that holds us. My life is just what it is, A closed piece and I am happy if you Would not see me, Save smiles, spaces in your hearts: There is always something incomplete About your affections, I wish so many things, Like this was a world of silence I wouldn't have to run to you For anything, you wouldn't run to me: Crazy.