Trading My Tomorrows

The things in life that cost me most are the things that came for free. And what I thought I was, Was not what I would be. And what I thought I was looking for Was not what I could see. And every time I got close I threw it all away. And the price of that keeps going up It's more than I can pay. So I keep trading my tomorrows To forget my yesterdays. And every time I get close I throw it all away. And I know I'm gonna do it But don't know what makes me this way. And every time I get close  I know I've got to pay. And every time it changes It always stays the same. I couldn't wait when I was young To get away from home I've spent the rest of my life wishing That I had never gone. Chasing my regrets They're dragging me along. Willingly unwilling To forget and just move on. Driven by the things  That keep me all alone. Taking comfort in the pain Knowing every time that I get close I'll throw it all away. And I know I'm gonna do it But don't know what makes me this way. Like a secret life has kept from me To dry me with the rain. Drinking life like it was whiskey And chasing it with pain. And the things that cost the most Are the things I got for free. And the ones I need the most  Are the ones I throw away. And I know I'm gonna do it But don't know what makes me this way. I just keep trading my tomorrows To forget my yesterdays. And there's not enough days ahead  To pay for the days pre-spent. That prize I've chased in life I just don't know where it went. And the things that I've loved most Are the things that came for free. And the ones that I need most  Are the ones I throw away. And I know I'm gonna do it But don't know what makes me this way And the love that cost the most Is the love I'll throw away And what was given to me free Had a price I wouldn't pay.