Torn

Why am I so enraged is what I often want to know Intimidation and frustration is what I mostly show Although I am such a nice guy with a carefree kind of heart It’s the rage that’s deep inside that’s tearing me apart I’m torn My intentions are not begot just to prove me a fool But it’s the drive still deep inside that makes me overlook the rules My passion for life has overtaken my will to just be still Constantly losing grip on my dreams while focusing on what’s not yet real still torn Mid life crisis , male menopause I don’t know perhaps that could be Whatever it is that came about its completely taken over me Don’t ask me to justify myself for that’s pretty much impossible right now Because at this point in my life I’m more focused on the what and the how I’m torn I have made so many wrong decisions and have taken so many wrong paths Had to duck and dive and roll with many punches just to get the last laugh There is something in life that I have to prove to me not to anyone else That even though life dealt me some hellish cards i refuse to be placed on the shelf I’m torn To often had I settled for less while constantly pushing for more Even if I am the only one that believe in the potential that I have yet to explored So that’s why I sit puzzled at a crossroad of two totally different directions On the left is the road for passion of life , on the right is the road to just affection Just torn a deterrent is what's considered to the path of conclusions which road leads to reality and which is just an illusion no matter where I go or which I choose in the end I will find a meaning but only then will I truly find the real reason for my being torn