To Whom It May Concern

To whom it may concern: Someone once told me that in order to love yourself on the outside, You have to love the inside first, Easier said than done. Since I know I’ve never done that- and now- will never. It’s not that I don’t love you all, My constant failures- the disappointment I am to you- and seem to always be. I’m sorry. Those words don’t seem like they mean much, but I heartfully mean them. What can I say papa? I made a mistake, You’d think because I miss you so much, I’d do everything in my power to see you again one day. But papa- I’m not as strong as you were, I couldn’t keep fighting- I gave up. Papa please don’t hate me because I’m weak, Please don’t be disappointed- and please, don’t forget me. Because there has not been a day since you passed that I haven’t thought about you. Wished I could tell you I love you- and that I miss you. Sometimes I wish I had your guidance. Remember when you tried to teach me how to tell time? Or we’d sneak snacks before dinner? Or the way you used to rub your face against mine and sting my face with your whiskers, Oh papa, I can still hear your laugh! Sometimes I would think about you hard enough, I would believe I could still hear your voice. Why did you leave? Why couldn’t dreams come true and you’d be here with us still? Why couldn’t I come with you? A part of my heart died when you did, I don’t think anyone could understand that now. It’s been so long papa- why is it whenever I think of you, I still cry? Why is this wrenching pain still there? I miss you so much papa. I miss being papa’s little girl, I miss those painful whisker burns, And sneaking those snacks, I miss the man you were. I loved you then, I love you still, And I will love you until the end of my time.