To My Daughter

To my darling daughter maybe one day you will see,just how very special and much yo mean to me. Looking back through the years not knowing how I've managed to fight back the tears. The hurt and pain I feel inside is something I'll have to live with till the day I die. I don't understand where I went so wrong,if only I could have the chance to do it over again how happy I'd be. I know just where I'd start and that would be changing everything about me. Maybe then we could be so close,instead of the person you disrespect most. If only I knew how to make it better,that would be the greatest gift more so than any card or letter. For us to be closer than close like mom's and daughters are supposed to be. It just doesn't seem like that is ever gonna be possible for you and me. Lord knows how hard I've tried and in many different ways,to just be able to hear those words to have my daughter say. That she loves me and to let me hug her anytime I want you see,instead of hateful hurtful things said and done and a hug you need to ask for one don't hang on me. To be able to kiss my daughters sweet face,and be welcomed with a warm loving embrace. It hurts me more than you'll ever even begin to phathom or begin to see. I'm just afraid that is how its always gonna be. Just know that I am always here for you and love you no matter what you do wrong. I just wish I could be the person that would make you proud to say, " Thats my mom ".