To Be the Earth That Surrounds Him and Settles In His Hands.

I'm tying my wrists across the way he used to kiss me, back to bedposts and marking bruises that resemble February's hands.... He bites his nails and PACES left foot right and cry through telephone lines that bite me... He's terrified of losing me, of forgetting how I rested my lips upon his wounds in March and my breath inhaled his soul, now he's leaking out of cuts I tried to heal and here, here I have footsteps all across April can't I scream? Can't I just scream? I hear his fingers slipping across concrete, his heart is breaking, he's breaking and I bleed every time he bites his tongue, I can't curl into this and hide beneath his chin he mistakes the gnashing of teeth for the satisfaction of my appetite, he's blind to frustration and I'm CHOKING still, I can't absolve him of his guilt, I'm having trouble with my heart this time I'm suffocating on our past and every footstep tears me, I know... I know... how to crumble and I think I'd love to be the dirt that sits underneath his nails just so I could feel his tongue. Don't... I want to scream and watch Florida and Northern Pennsylvania smash in the sky I want their lightning to strike me so I burn, I want him to capture the scent of my curls from somewhere seeping through the cracks of his walls I want him to see me, warped, my knees crooked my ankles teasing elbows, I want him to KNOW the tears of April and what she would give to SMASH us together one more time so I can see it snow, so I can capture the originality of his cruelty on my lonely tongue as he scrapes concrete to pass the hours in which he's terrified to set me free.