To Be Or Not To Be

They will never know, The pain that sits in these bones, My recovery is not as simple as it seems, Mentally i'm falling apart, I watch those the same age as me, Smiling, and enjoying one another, As I sit here locked in these four thin walls, I can’t leave, I tried but there is no escape, My midnights become my afternoons, As I try to picture the end, The one where everyone wins, But I know in my story there's no win, Because when you think you're almost there, Someone comes along and hold you under, Under the cold dark waters, Should I try to breathe, Or should I let it be? There hasn’t been anything but black and white, Everyone is picking fights, Why don’t they see, There slowly killing me, I tried praying, I tried changing, Nothing has worked, Sometimes I lay here as I would when I take my last breath, Because they say practice makes perfect, I’ll never be perfect, They will never know, They will never see, But here they are, Slowly killing me.