Tidbits of Madness Part 3

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner....cause then I'd be in somebody's buns. "I shall return!" I said to my last wife, last time I saw her in 1989. McArthur I isn't! Why are women so much smarter than men? Probably cause they have brains. I never realized just how stupid I was until I went to the eye doctor's. See "A bad day at the eye doctor's" poem. My eye doctor seemed to catch on real quick as to how stupid I was. I hate to say it, but I think Rodney Dangerfield would make a better president. Excuse me, but what year is this? Did you ever wake up and realize the best part of your day was over? I have a picture of me, when younger, flying in the air,in my karate days, kicking butt. Now I need help just to pick up the picture. How did I earn the nickname "Skuzz-Bucket"- I don't even own a bucket! I guess the best thing about getting old is you got less time to suffer. Wives- I need a chain letter. Alimony? Can't squeeze an orange that's already orange juice. Excuse while I take the pits out of my hair. And to my fans, I say thanks- wish I could afford an air conditioner though. My "friends" gave me a room aerosol air freshener. Seems the main ingredient was Zyklon-B. With friends like that, who needs enemies? Have a" happy"! What a crock! My doctor said he'd pay me not to come anymore. He wanted me to join the "Euthanasia Club" I didn't pass the test, however- they said I was brain dead too long. Even the Girl Scouts mock me- they ask me for cookies! I once had a girlfriend named "Cookie" She was cute, but her butt was chaffed from bed-hopping. Ever try to nail a girl while she's hopping on the bed? Well goodbye my friends- see ya'll real soon...(Genuine White Trailer Trash Lingo)!!