Three Limericks

I. There was a young man from Milwaukee Who forever was playing at haukee. His deplorable luck Was to swallow a puck, Now he drinks all his drinks through a straukee. II. There was an old char who’d get teary When confronted with weather too dreary— It would grow more severe When she'd guzzle some beer— ("But that’s only a theory, me dearie!") III. A pop-loving girl from Atlanta Drank up numerous bottles of Fanta— Soon a surfeit of fizz Gave her hair so much frizz She could whizz through the air just like Santa.