Thoughts of the Broken Hearted

I want to cry I want to scream I want to tell you mostly I hate that I'm so afraid of everything I hate that you’re the one thing I want the most but can't have I hate that you let me go before I got even got to say goodbye I wish that you would come back to me I wish I were strong enough to say no to you I wish I could believe my own lies I use to cover up the pain you left I need to move on says my head I need to hold on says my heart I need to decide says my mind I envy the way this hasn’t hurt you at all I envy her I envy the fact you don’t understand what this feels like at all I want to hurt you I want to be with you I want this nightmare to be over I wish I could make things they were before you I wish I could change time I wish I could change you I wish I could have hurt you before you hurt me I wish I would have given you the letter when I wanted I need you out of my thoughts I need you out of my heart I need to start doing things for me I hate that you used me I hate that I gave you something I can never have back I hate that I wasted it with you I'm tired of hoping aimlessly for you I'm tired of wanting something I can't have I'm tired of hurting me for things that aren’t my fault I'm sorry I was good enough I'm sorry I defended you when everyone else was right I'm sorry I couldn’t make you happy Funny though how you never once said sorry for hurting me, for breaking me, for not loving me