Thoughts In My Head

i long to help children who suffer so much pain, i want them to see sunshine, and keep them out of the rain, i have had a varied life, and yes i have felt the pain, but i know my life has changed, and it wont go back again, i want to think of the future, and forget about the past, but forgetting the past , dont really last, some things i cant remove, from my head, and some times i think of them when i lay in bed, why cant i remove these thoughts from my little brain, as i wish i could just flush them down the bloody drain