Those Damn Wet Bandits

Two inept crooks robbed my house while I was on vacation. They left my water running and they died by strangulation. Besides robbing me, those idiots also made me have to pay a two hundred dollar water bill. They were already beaten by my neighbors eight year old son, as crooks, they had no skill. I decided to go to the Police Station and post their bail. Before I was through, they wanted to go back to jail. I shot them in their crotches and burned their heads with my blowtorch. Those dumbasses were screaming in agony because their heads were scorched. Before strangling them, I used my shotgun to blow off their kneecaps. Everybody had better start to learn that I will not take people's crap! (This poem is based on the 1990 'Home Alone' movie.)