This Long Night

Sad news keep me awake; Counting stars through the ceiling, Hiding from the sun under my blanket, Racing about inside my tiny room, With a mind so agitated and delirious. With a heart quivering with fibrillations. And lungs gasping for air under resting conditions. Lying down on my old ragged mattress; Pacing around and coiling in this furnace, Of heat and warmth and sweat on a cold night! Thirsting for a gallop of wine,when water is no more, Yawning for yams,when potatoes have gone bad. I think along an endless journey, That I believe will never end in my time. Reminding me of that appointment, With a surgeon on my birthday Eve, Leaves my peace in pieces. It literally kills me alive, Through the free long nights it gives me- Like it did not see me yearn for more darkness, To hide my face from the light of day- When my name had been dragged to shame. I'm moving along with the clock- Impatiently waiting for granny's cock to crow, When,at the arrival of dawn, I will stand to face my fears- Holding back my anxiety and worries. Lest I dance to the tune of depression! Or even cardiac arrest during the anaesthesia. I will dress lightly and mask it up, Beautify my face with borrowed smiles, While I glow,thanks to petroleum jelly. I will hold my bag and wave at my little boy, Telling him I have gone to the salon- And that I shall return to breastfeed him. Into the hands of my maker I put tomorrow. For I don't know what it has in store for me; Fresh or stale peas,time will tell! And my faith, I lift to the heavens, Looking to them for rescue angels- That will take me out of the bowels , That sit between life and death. Ampurire Anitah.