This Is Hell

Down, I keep falling down. No one can help me, No one could possibly know, The pain and sadness I feel 98% of the time. Why do I feel like this? Can someone please explain? Because I’m sitting here all alone wondering, Why? Why when surrounded by loved ones do I feel so alone, Why do I want to be with people but be left alone at the same time, Why do I feel so sad no matter what I’m doing, Why is happiness only temporary, Why does happiness only lasts a few microscopic seconds, Why I’m being pulled to the bottom of an ocean by this crushing weight called depression. “Why are you sad now?” “It’ll pass.” “You’ll be fine.” “Get over it.” “It’s just depression.” JUST DEPRESSION?!? GET OVER IT!?! Tell me! When this will pass, Tell me! How the hell I’ll be fine, YOU TELL ME! Why I’m sad! Because I don’t even know why! TELL ME WHEN THIS WILL ALL BE OVER! Because I feel worthless all the time! Because this thing you call depression, Is ****ed up. No one should ever feel this way every day, all day, Every god damn second. Because this thing you call depression is wrong. This thing you call depression hurts. Sure there’s pills you can take, But they only dull the pain and the sadness and the loneliness and the feeling of “Why even bother?”. But you know what? It’s still all there. Step into my shoes, My mind, My soul, Just for a day. You’ll see what it’s like for me, You’ll feel my sadness. You’ll feel alone like I do even though there’s people all around you. You’ll understand my fear of speaking in class, out loud. You’ll fear being rejected. You will understand why. But you can’t. And you won’t. So don’t tell me to get over it, Don’t TELL me it’s just depression. Because I know very well what this is, This is Hell and I have no choice but to live in it.