The Wonderful Sandwich Spread

The Wonderful Sandwich Spread By Elton Camp Our housekeeper little English could speak or read We were having a party and her help we did need “Isabell, please go get the can of sandwich spread And put some of it between these slices of bread.” The wife and I our guests went out to entertain While busy in the kitchen old Isabell did remain The sandwiches she brought out laid on a tray “Everyone have some of these, we began to say.” The sandwiches were good and folks all had a fit They demanded where more of the spread to get In the kitchen for the name from the can’s label, I looked about, but to find it at once I wasn’t able “Where did you put the can for the spread, Isabell? Because all of our guests said that they like so well. When, at last, my request she came to understand, Isabell pointed under the sink at the garbage can When I reached in and the container pulled out, I was barely able to suppress a horrified shout I couldn’t believe she did something like that What she’d put on the bread was food for a cat To our guests my voice did quiver and hands shake How could I possibly explain about such a mistake I suddenly thought of a lie that well might explain “It’s Isabelle’s secret recipe and so it must remain.”