The Wish To Vanish From Existence

No existence can be compared to mine, it had a sad beginning... what's looming ahead? Doubt proceeds fear, even more frightening is the urge to know and avoid another tragedy before it occurs. All I have left is hope, surviving on crumbs that even a beggar refuses; should I slip away from existence and leave no plausible traces? I have built a sanctuary in which everything is sacred: love, honor, loyalty, trust, humility, compassion, strength...these were the secular pillars holding it up for a valid testimony. The bold uses his quick thinking to prevent total destruction; the fearful hesitates until his courage crumbles and gives into desperation. I hold up the roof with my palms with the same strength that Hercules had, but less determined. A last thought submerges form my defeated fortitude: its the wish to vanish from existence.