The Unpoem

I feel sorry for all the people in this town that look at me with contempt or disgust, spout homophobic slurs behind my back, and condemn my lifestyle. It's funny, because they almost never have the courage to say it to my face. I just wanna say to them, my name is Battle so bring it *****! I live in this world open and proud. Not only am I a transgender GIRL, but I'm gay as well (that means I like girls). If you know where I'm coming from, then that is one of the most courageous and frightening things you can possibly do. I feel sorry for those people, because I am free in every way they are not; and they know it. Their fear meets the face of my strength, and they choose to react with anger and spite. They say I'm disgusting and some of the good-natured ones may even pray for me. Why you ask? Am I all that different by appearance? No, I simply wear nail polish. I'm not a make-up and sundress kind of GIRL but still I meet these looks daily. My nail polish, by my best estimates, costs me roughly 200-300 dollars a month in tips from my delivery route, and it's worth every penny. Am I scared every day? YES. Do I struggle with accepting myself? OF COURSE Are there days I hate myself for what I am? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! I go through the same struggles as all those haters out there do. The difference is, I do not live in the dark, and I do not live in fear. Darkness and ignorance breeds fear. Knowledge is salvation. I lived in my own world of darkness for so long because it was safe. In the end, it's only made me bitter, alone, and lost. For those who have struggled, this quote endures; "it's only after we've lost everything, that we're free to do anything". Just let go of all the things we use to shelter ourselves from the unknown. If you still don't know what I'm talking about, try living in a town of 2,000 sheltered people that is separated by any other major city by 130 miles or so. I know other people are scared for me too, and that's ok. But they should know that this is my code, and I will die for my code. This is my spine, and I'll stand until my dying breath. Sometimes, in the end, living means finding something you are willing to die for. Stay true to yourselves out there.