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The Unbroken Mare

In ghostly dreams the horse will come And feed on my forbidden cereal Meant for my recalcitrant healing That filly came a-prancing stealing O shrouded mare so misted white Thou bleakest horse ,this blackest night Untethered and untied Noble creature -"NOT"- I cried A pallid stare through tousled mane Treads the core of my hidden pain So obvious now for all to see My fear complies to jellyfied fragility Hope drifts lost in catatonic misery As does my scream in muted agony Nostrils flared in malarial trembling Gasps aloud from injurious dreaming Departing tail of comets flight Leaves me such a prophetic sight

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Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 12/2/2017 5:47:00 PM

I remember this, Jannie, as those about horses stand out in my mind, and it reminded me of my childhood book about Alexander the Great and Bucephalus! Had to come read it again - love this! :-)

Jannie Breedt
Date: 12/4/2017 2:09:00 AM

Thanks Greg Now I have to do some research about the Great Alexander. I changed the last stanza. It was written for a beautiful girl who stayed here as a recovering CAT addict BEFORE she was arrested for steaing and finally left without saying goodbye. A vision that came. I now fear the worst.

Patricia Cresswell

Date: 8/20/2017 9:27:00 AM

Jannie this harks back to the Pookah myth of the Celts. I love your style, as I read, it felt like riding a charger, galloping galloping across my mind.

Jannie Breedt
Date: 8/25/2017 1:40:00 AM

Hi Patricia,so I googled this . The similarities are quite amazing. I cant explain it but the spjrit of the muse grabs me and this comes forth from goodness knows where. Closer to home , many of our Blacks believe in the "Tokoloshe" and are petrified of him. They sleep thus on raised beds so he cannot reach them at night. The beds are raised on 5liter paint tins or bricks under each post

Jannie Breedt
Date: 8/21/2017 1:31:00 AM

Well now there is something I was completely unaware of and it certainly requires some research which I will duly attend to. Its one of my favorites. Thank you for that Patricia

Agnes Krampe

Date: 4/18/2017 7:05:00 AM

Your first line drew me into your poem's eerie atmosphere. Quite a ride.

Jannie Breedt
Date: 5/3/2017 1:16:00 AM

Hi Agnes, thank you for your kind words and the visit.

Robert Lindley

Date: 4/4/2017 7:47:00 PM

Truly exceptional sonnet-eering my friend. Every verse golden and that closing fantastic . Super 7 and a fav.... A fine gem .. LOVE THE OPENING AND THE BUILD UP BRINGING SUCH A DEEP ENDING!

Jannie Breedt
Date: 4/4/2017 10:30:00 PM

Robert I am bounding with joy because I received 5 new comments this morning and yours is so welcome. Big thànk you as with Greg below

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 4/4/2017 11:27:00 AM

Love this poem, love horses, love your fresh style of writing, my friend! I'm particularly fond of Arabians, and I do work for the owner of Godolphin Stables, the finest in the world. Really enjoyed this one! Blessings, Buddy. :-)

Jannie Breedt
Date: 4/4/2017 10:27:00 PM

I am admitting that this one is my own favorite Too. I am doing somersaults here.Coming from you , that is BIG . I say thank you Greg

Freddie Robinson Jr.

Date: 4/2/2017 2:26:00 PM

An equestrian night-mare, eh. This is one creative piece of poetry, Jannie. Can't wait to read the other two parts, my friend. I love your turbo-charged style of poetry. Leaves us mere mortals thinking in the dust. With you on your speed steed send thought exhaust while zooming past the rest of us. Your poems seems to always bring out creative critiques from me. Love this poem though. Love and peace to you.

Jannie Breedt
Date: 4/2/2017 4:08:00 PM

I can only smile here. Its like getting milk and cookies aa I told Cay Cay. Bless the whole bloody lot of you ha ha

Pashang Salehi

Date: 3/19/2017 2:10:00 AM

This is really cute... I too love horses..

Jannie Breedt
Date: 3/19/2017 4:30:00 AM

Cute???

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 3/16/2017 3:04:00 AM

I LOVE THIS Jannie! It is going straight into my FAVES! It is a delight and my privilege to read. Blessings, Connie : ) 7+

Jannie Breedt
Date: 3/17/2017 8:41:00 AM

Hi Connie,glad to see you . Thanks. Is Hawai still there? Love Jannie

Deborah Burch

Date: 3/13/2017 2:44:00 PM

Jannie. This is a jewel! I look forward to reading more :) I love the last quatrain most!! Very well done my friend! big hugs deb

Jannie Breedt
Date: 3/14/2017 8:12:00 AM

Hey Debra, arent you the horsey lady? This one is for you. Thank you, it makes my whole Tuesday alive